Autosexuality is a sexual orientation where a person experiences primary attraction to themselves, whether through visual stimulation, fantasies, or solo pleasure. Unlike narcissism, which involves an inflated sense of self-importance, autosexuality is about genuine sexual and emotional fulfillment derived from self-connection. This orientation exists on a spectrum, meaning some autosexual individuals may still engage in relationships with others, while others may prefer to focus solely on themselves.
Autosexuality vs. Narcissism: Clearing Up the Confusion
One of the biggest misconceptions about autosexuality is that it’s synonymous with narcissism. While narcissism is rooted in ego and a need for external validation, autosexuality is an internal experience of attraction. Casey Tanner, a certified sex therapist, explains that autosexual individuals often cultivate a deep sense of self-love that actually enhances their ability to connect with others. "It’s not about superiority or dismissing others—it’s about finding pleasure and fulfillment within oneself," Tanner says. This distinction is crucial because it shifts the narrative from self-absorption to self-awareness.
How Autosexuality Fits Into the Asexual Spectrum
Autosexuality can sometimes overlap with asexuality, particularly for those who experience little to no sexual attraction toward others. Dr. Michelle Forcier notes that while not all autosexual people identify as asexual, many find that their self-directed attraction aligns with aspects of the ace spectrum. This means someone might identify as both autosexual and demisexual, graysexual, or another ace-spec identity. The key takeaway? Autosexuality isn’t a one-size-fits-all label—it’s fluid and can coexist with other orientations.
Relationships and Autosexuality: Can They Coexist?
Absolutely. Just because someone is autosexual doesn’t mean they’re incapable of romantic or sexual partnerships. Some autosexual people engage in polyamory, where their primary relationship is with themselves while still maintaining connections with others. Others may practice monogamy but prioritize self-pleasure as a significant part of their sexuality. Tanner emphasizes that communication is key—partners should discuss boundaries, needs, and expectations to ensure mutual understanding and respect.
Signs You Might Be Autosexual
If you’re wondering whether autosexuality resonates with you, Dr. Forcier suggests reflecting on what—or who—truly excites you sexually. Do you find yourself more aroused by your own body or fantasies than by others? Does solo sex feel more satisfying than partnered experiences? These could be indicators. Tanner adds that autosexual individuals often have a strong sense of self-eroticism, meaning they derive pleasure from their own presence, whether through mirror play, self-touch, or mental imagery.
The Future of Autosexuality in Sexual Discourse
As conversations around sexuality expand, autosexuality is gaining recognition as a valid and meaningful orientation. However, due to limited research, many people still struggle to define or claim the label confidently. Creating more visibility and education around autosexuality will help reduce stigma and empower individuals to explore this aspect of their identity without shame. Whether you’re autosexual, questioning, or simply curious, the most important thing is to honor your desires in a way that feels authentic to you.
Autosexuality challenges traditional notions of attraction, proving that sexuality isn’t just about who we love—but also how we love ourselves. By embracing this orientation, we open doors to deeper self-understanding and more inclusive discussions about human desire.
