If you've ever left therapy and wondered, "Did I do that right?" you're not the only one. Whether you're new to therapy or not, it's easy to feel overwhelmed during a session. Maybe you're worried about saying all the right things, or stressed about forgetting important topics you wanted to bring up. At times you might even feel like you can't fully digest the advice and knowledge your therapist is passing on. Thankfully, there are some strategies you can do before, during, and after each session to help you get the most out of therapy.
Before Your Session: Setting Yourself Up for Success
Think of therapy like a workout for your mind—you wouldn’t sprint into the gym without warming up, right? The same logic applies here. Taking a few intentional steps before your session can make all the difference in how productive it feels. Start by jotting down what’s been weighing on you lately. It doesn’t need to be a formal list—scratch notes on your phone or a sticky note work just fine. The goal is to organize your thoughts so you don’t blank mid-session when your therapist asks, "What’s on your mind today?"
Another pro tip? Treat your therapy space like sacred ground. If you’re doing virtual sessions, silence your phone, close unnecessary tabs, and find a quiet corner where you won’t be interrupted. Even in-person sessions benefit from a pre-game ritual—maybe it’s grabbing a coffee beforehand or taking five deep breaths in the waiting room. These small acts signal to your brain that it’s time to focus on you.
During Your Session: How to Stay Present and Engaged
Ever left therapy realizing you spent half the session venting about your coworker’s annoying habits instead of unpacking the deeper stuff? Yeah, it happens. Therapists are used to guiding conversations back on track, but you can help by keeping a loose structure in mind. If your therapist mentions a term or concept that flies over your head, don’t nod along—ask for a simpler explanation. Remember, you’re not being tested; this is your time to learn.
Here’s the golden rule: Therapy isn’t a performance. You don’t need to impress your therapist or stick to a script. If you planned to talk about your anxiety but end up crying about your childhood pet, roll with it. Those unexpected detours often lead to breakthroughs. And if you catch yourself worrying, "Ugh, are they judging me right now?"—stop. Therapists aren’t there to critique you; they’re there to help untangle the messy, complicated stuff you’ve been carrying around.
After Your Session: Making the Insights Stick
Ever had a therapy session that felt amazing in the moment… only to forget everything by dinnertime? Same. That’s why post-session reflection is key. Take 10 minutes to scribble down what resonated—maybe a phrase your therapist said, a sudden realization, or even just how you felt afterward. These notes become a roadmap for your progress, especially on days when therapy feels frustratingly slow.
If your therapist gives you "homework," don’t panic. It’s not about grades; it’s about experimenting with new tools between sessions. Maybe it’s practicing a breathing technique or noticing when you’re overly self-critical. Even if you bomb the assignment (hey, life happens), just being honest about why you struggled can spark useful conversations next time. And if something about your sessions isn’t clicking—maybe the pacing feels off or a technique isn’t helpful—speak up! Therapists want your feedback so they can adjust their approach.
The Big Picture: Trusting the Process
Therapy isn’t a quick fix, and that’s okay. Think of it like learning a language: You wouldn’t expect fluency after three Duolingo lessons. Some weeks, you’ll leave sessions feeling lighter; other times, you might feel raw or exhausted. Both are normal. Progress isn’t linear, and "bad" sessions can still move you forward. The key is showing up consistently—even when it’s hard—and trusting that the work adds up over time.
And if you ever feel like you and your therapist aren’t vibing? It’s totally okay to explore other options. Finding the right fit is like dating; sometimes it takes a few tries. What matters is that you’re investing in yourself, one session at a time. So next time you wonder, "Am I doing this right?"—remember, just being there means you’re already on the right track.
— Additional reporting by Chandler Plante
Maggie Ryan was an assistant editor at PS. A longtime runner and athlete, Maggie has nearly four years of experience covering topics in the wellness space, specializing in fitness, sports, nutrition, and mental health.
Chandler Plante is an assistant editor for PS Health and Fitness. She has over four years of professional journalism experience, previously working as an editorial assistant for People magazine and contributing to Ladygunn, Millie, and Bustle Digital Group. In her free time, she enjoys finding new ways to rock her 18(!) different eye patches, and making videos about chronic illness, beauty, and disability.
