When Abby Spencer, a young mother in London, was expecting her first child, she bought a crib, a stroller, baby bottles, and baby bath salts. She planned to try breastfeeding. On the first night she brought her son home, she didn’t feel comfortable letting the baby sleep alone, so she placed him between her and her husband. For the past three years, the child has been sleeping with his parents.
As time went by, Abby’s child gradually grew up in her arms. Abby used the stroller only once before putting it up for sale on eBay. She also never touched those baby bottles, as she breastfed exclusively until her child was weaned at 18 months. Later, Abby realized that her way of parenting had a name: Attachment Parenting.
What is Attachment Parenting?
Attachment Parenting is a parenting philosophy championed by William and Martha Sears, emphasizing the importance of respecting and developing a bond with the child from birth. The premise is that once a baby’s needs are met, they will trust their caregivers and develop a healthy, intimate relationship with them throughout their lives.
Proponents of Attachment Parenting believe that this approach fosters independent, secure, and loving children. Many parents decide to use Attachment Parenting before their child is born, while others, like Abby, gradually realize that their parenting style is called "Attachment Parenting" as they practice it.
Attachment Parenting International (API) helps educate parents worldwide about what Attachment Parenting is and assists them in practicing it. When helping families develop connections in their daily lives, the organization follows these eight principles:
Preparation for pregnancy, birth, and parenting; feeding with love and respect; responding with sensitivity; nurturing touch; ensuring safe sleep and physical and emotional safety; providing consistent and loving care; practicing positive discipline; and balancing personal and family life.
Many parents think of Attachment Parenting as a strict set of rules they must follow, but it’s not. It’s a comprehensive philosophy rather than a specific checklist on how to raise a child. In the process of raising their children, many parents engage in behaviors that go against the principles of Attachment Parenting, such as letting a child cry it out or spanking them.
Attachment Parenting in Practice
Attachment Parenting looks different in every family, with a variety of ways to apply those eight principles to your own household. For example, many parents practice the "feeding with love and respect" principle by breastfeeding until the child is weaned (usually during toddlerhood). If a mother chooses not to breastfeed, the API organization advocates for bottle-feeding as an alternative.
