Being a queer parent means embracing dad energy in ways that defy traditional norms while still rocking those classic dad vibes—whether it’s grilling with flair, cracking terrible jokes, or showing up to school events in the loudest Hawaiian shirt you own. Dad energy isn’t about gender; it’s about that mix of goofy charm, unwavering support, and the occasional over-the-top enthusiasm that makes parenting uniquely joyful. And for queer parents, it’s a chance to rewrite the script on what caregiving looks like, blending authenticity with a little extra sparkle.
Dad Energy, Queer Edition: What It Really Means
Forget the outdated idea that dad energy belongs exclusively to cisgender men. Queer parents—whether trans, nonbinary, or same-gender couples—bring their own flavor to the role. Maybe it’s the way you cheer a little too loudly at soccer games, or how you’ve perfected the art of dramatic sighing when asked to assemble IKEA furniture for the third time. Dad energy is about presence: showing up, being silly, and loving hard. It’s the dad jokes that make your kid groan (but secretly love), the willingness to embarrass yourself for a laugh, and the quiet moments when you’re the steady hand they lean on. Queer parents often navigate this space with creativity, whether it’s blending “mom” and “dad” roles or inventing entirely new ones—like the nonbinary parent who’s equally likely to teach their kid how to change a tire and braid hair.
Grilling, Glitter, and Everything In Between
Picture this: you’re flipping burgers on the backyard grill, tongs in one hand and a rainbow apron tied over your favorite ripped jeans. Queer dad energy thrives in these small, unscripted moments. It’s in the way you turn mundane tasks into rituals—maybe you’ve got a signature playlist for cooking dinner or a habit of narrating your life like a reality TV show (“And here we see the elusive queer parent attempting to fold a fitted sheet…”). These quirks become family lore. And let’s talk about hobbies. Maybe you’re the parent who geeks out over teaching your kid how to build a birdhouse, or the one who turns grocery shopping into a dance party. The point? Dad energy isn’t about rigid roles; it’s about infusing everyday life with humor, warmth, and a touch of chaos.
The Art of the Dad Joke (And Why It’s a Love Language)
“Hey, I’m hungry.” “Hi, Hungry—I’m Dad!” If this exchange doesn’t make your kid roll their eyes, are you even parenting? Dad jokes are a universal language, and queer parents often weaponize them with extra flair. There’s something deeply affirming about leaning into the cringe, whether you’re a trans dad reclaiming the trope or a lesbian mom who’s perfected the art of puns. These jokes aren’t just goofy—they’re a way to bond, to break tension, and to say “I’m here, I’m silly, and I love you” without needing grand gestures. Plus, they’re a great equalizer: nothing unites a family faster than mutual mockery over a truly terrible punchline.
Navigating the “But Who’s the Dad?” Questions
Queer parents know the drill: the well-meaning (or nosy) questions about who “plays the dad” in your family. The truth? It’s complicated—and that’s okay. Some families split roles fluidly; others reject the binary entirely. Maybe you’re a trans dad who breastfeeds, or a nonbinary parent who’s dubbed yourself “Zaza” because labels feel too limiting. The beauty of queer parenting is that you get to define what caregiving looks like on your terms. When outsiders ask, it’s okay to shrug and say, “We’re just parents.” Or, if you’re feeling spicy, hit ‘em with a classic dad-style deflection: “Why, you offering to babysit?”
Building Traditions That Feel Like Home
Traditions in queer families often look a little different—and that’s what makes them magic. Maybe your version of “dad stuff” includes hosting an annual Pride BBQ where the whole neighborhood’s invited, or starting a family habit of karaoke nights where you always butcher Journey songs. Perhaps it’s teaching your kid how to protest safely, or baking cookies at midnight just because. These rituals don’t need to fit a mold; they just need to feel true to your family’s heartbeat. And hey, if that means your kid grows up thinking it’s normal to have two dads who argue passionately about the best way to load a dishwasher, even better.
At the end of the day, queer dad energy is about showing up as your fullest, most authentic self—whether that means coaching Little League in sequined shorts or tearfully reciting Goodnight Moon for the 900th time. It’s messy, it’s loud, and it’s deeply beautiful. Because when you parent from a place of honesty and joy, you’re not just embracing dad energy—you’re redefining it.
