The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, relaxation, and connection—but for parents, they often feel like a marathon of logistics, meltdowns, and sugar crashes. Between orchestrating festive activities, managing relatives, and keeping kids entertained (without losing your sanity), it’s easy to end the season feeling more drained than delighted. But here’s the good news: You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through December. With a few strategic tweaks, you can actually enjoy the holidays—yes, even with kids in tow.
Ditch the Pinterest-Perfect Pressure
no one’s posting about the tantrum their kid had mid-gingerbread-house assembly or the fact that "family matching pajamas" lasted approximately six minutes before someone spilled cocoa on them. "Parents put immense pressure on themselves to create magical moments," says motherhood coach Kelsie Chernenko. "But magic doesn’t have to mean flawless." Instead of fixating on Instagram-worthy scenes, focus on small, meaningful traditions: lighting candles, reading a favorite holiday book, or letting the kids stay up late to watch a movie. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s presence.
Embrace the Power of "No"
Holiday invitations can feel like obligations—but they’re not. Before RSVP’ing to every cookie swap, neighborhood caroling event, and distant cousin’s potluck, ask yourself: Will this add joy or just stress? "Many parents overcommit because they worry about disappointing others," says Katelyn Denning. But saying no to events that drain you means saying yes to downtime, spontaneity, and maybe even an afternoon nap. Pro tip: If you’re hesitant to decline outright, blame it on the kids ("We’re keeping things low-key this year—the little ones get overwhelmed!").
Steal Moments for Yourself
Newsflash: The holidays aren’t just for kids. Sneak in activities you love, whether it’s sipping spiked cider while decorating the tree or blasting your favorite holiday album (Mariah Carey supremacy). Denning suggests involving kids in ways that don’t require micromanaging: "Let them ‘help’ wrap gifts with scribbled-on paper, or set them up with a holiday craft while you relax nearby." And if you can swing it, schedule pockets of solo time—a walk alone, a coffee date with a friend, or even just locking the bathroom door for a 10-minute breather. "You can’t pour from an empty cup," Chernenko reminds us.
Outsource and Delegate
Repeat after us: You don’t have to do it all. Enlist your partner, grandparents, or even older kids to share the load. "Assign specific tasks, like ‘Uncle Joe handles snowman-building duty’ or ‘Grandma reads bedtime stories,’" suggests transformation coach Grace Emmons. If family isn’t around, consider hiring a babysitter for a few hours or swapping childcare with a friend. And if your budget allows, outsource time-sucks like meal prep (hello, pre-made holiday dinners) or house cleaning. Think of it as investing in your sanity.
Survival Mode Is Okay
Some days, the best you can do is survive—and that’s fine. Lower the bar when needed: Frozen pizza for dinner? Sure. Extra screen time so you can wrap gifts in peace? Go for it. "Parents feel guilty about ‘cutting corners,’ but kids won’t remember the details," says Denning. "They’ll remember how they felt—safe, loved, and like the holidays were fun." If things go off the rails, laugh it off (or cry, then laugh). The mess, the chaos, the burned cookies—those are the memories.
Plan a Post-Holiday Reset
January tends to hit parents like a ton of bricks. After weeks of nonstop activity, returning to routines can feel brutal. Emmons advises scheduling a "recovery day" once the kids are back in school: Take a PTO day, binge a show, or just sit in silence. "It’s like hitting pause before the new year’s demands kick in," she says. And next December? Start a "holiday notes" doc to remind yourself what worked (and what didn’t). Future-you will be grateful.
At the end of the day, the holidays are about connection, not performance. So take a deep breath, drop the guilt, and remember: The best gift you can give your family is a parent who’s actually enjoying themselves. Now, pass the eggnog.
